SD vs. the 53/39 crank

The elevation sign below will be one of many settings for an epic week long battle of the compact crank (ridden by SD#2) and the 53/39 crew; all non stealth dorks, unless some have gone to the dark side in the off season.



I found out that SD#2 will be attending our clubs cycling camp in South Carolina the last week of March. I'm excited about this. Going head-to-head against the menacing, mesmerizing master(s) of cadence (damn all you stealth dorks!) will be as informative as training with a power meter. If I can beat this newly stealthy (see previous post) Stealth Dork up this 3124 ft climb without the benefit of a silly compact crank putting out 130+RPM, my training will be a success.

If I fail, I'm skipping town (again). I hear there are no penguins in the Canadian arctic.

Foiled by Stealth Dorks?

So, as mentioned in my previous post last week, I'm back.

I'm back and ready take on SD#1 and SD#2, and any other SD I encounter on the road.

Am I ready for such an epic spin battle? I will be.

How am I preparing for this clash of the cranks?  I've enrolled in a spin class bootcamp.

This is week 3. Something funny (not hilarious funny, instead the peculiar kind of funny) happened today though - both instructors (not Dorks of the Stealth kind) called in sick. Both instructors are sick - hmm, coincidence? I think not. I have a theory. It's bold and a bit unfathomable.

I suspect they've been poisoned by one of the SDs. I can't confirm this, but I am 50% sure that SD#2 is in the same bootcamp. The other 50% of certainty is clouded in doubt that the svelte figure that I suspect is SD#2 couldn't have possibly become that, ummmm, svelte in 9 months. That and the absence of a proper road bike with the offending crank in class or chained to the bike lock on the street.

So, until winter gives way to spring, I won't know for sure if:

i) I've enrolled in a spin class with a SD that ran me out of town
ii) said SD poisoned the spin instructors thereby canceling class; preventing me from working on improving my cadence threshold
iii) said SD ain't a fatty no more.

This theory will remain unproven for 2 months. I'll update you on this on March 21st, the first day of spring.

-Non-Believer

I'm back and, sadly, the stealth dorks still live amongst us.

It's been a while. I skipped town 9 months ago. I wasn't running from random drug tests - instead I was running from stealth dorks. I got too dizzy riding behind this multiplying bred of cycledork, watching their legs and feet spin at 130+ rpm. As hard as I tried to get in front of them to keep from being hypnotized, I just couldn't ramp up the cadence to out spin them; so I sought asylum in Antarctica. It's quiet there, except for the squawking pengiuns in mating season. In hindsight, that in-flight movie about penguins was a warning. I should have paid $3 for the headphones to listen to that film. But I digress...

So, here I am, back in SD land, surrounded by these dorks. Am I okay with this? I don't know yet. I'll keep you posted.